It's almost Christmas. This should be a happy time of year. In a way it is, but I hate that I'm seeing so much hurt in people around me. I've had two people who read this blog tell me of people close to them who have recently been hurt and sustained injuries similar to mine in vehicle accidents. I hate to see someone else go through this, because I know what it's like. It's something I wouldn't wish on anyone else. But maybe those people can get some sort of hope through this. I know I didn't have any at first. With time, however, I've gotten much more hopeful about the outcome of everything. Slowly but surely, the pain gets a little better, mobility gets a little easier, and therapy gets slightly less traumatizing. I highly doubt that I'll ever be able to say that I enjoy physical therapy, but I do enjoy the results. Looking back now at the progress that has been made is humbling. It seems to me sometimes like I'm not getting anywhere, but to think of what it was like when I first encountered a physical therapist (at the hospital, three days after my surgery), and to see where I am now, is a major difference. When I was still in the hospital, my "therapy" consisted of small things in my room. In fact, there wasn't much they could do with me, so they really only came once or twice. The thing I remember most clearly was when they had me make it to the chair next to my bed. I sat there for a bit. I was excited to be able to sit up for the first time. Fast forward a few weeks, and I had a new therapist that was coming to the house. I'm sure you guys remember her, the one that I affectionately referred to as the Antichrist. The first time she came, I was supposed to be moving my left leg out to the side, a feat that would have be easy pre-accident, but was then a miserable task. I couldn't do it. I physically could not move it in that manner, so she had to move it for me, which was horrible. I'd be lying there gritting my teeth with tears streaming down my face. After a few visits, I could, but it was insanely painful. A few more weeks went by, and I was finally able to do it myself with tolerable pain levels. A few visits later, I'd moved on to standing exercises with my left leg. Now, I'm going out of the house to therapy and I sit on a table, do a few stretching motions, then have to work with a resistance band on my left ankle to strengthen it back up and work on flexibility in my hip. I have to work on straightening my left leg out often because the muscles can contract from not being in use and cause major problems. It's something that I have to consciously remind myself to do at home as well. So to think that in the matter of a little over two months, I've gone from unable to move that leg at all during therapy, to being put on an exercise bike to get some movement in it, is pretty major. I can't deny that there's improvement. It just still seems so slow.
I go back to see my orthopedic surgeon on the 27th of this month. I'm really hoping that I'll be able to start at least partial weight bearing then. It would make the process a lot smoother. I only go to physical therapy once a week and am very limited on what I can do due to the fact that I can't bear weight on that leg. Once I get that clearance, I'll be going more often and be able to do more to rehabilitate that leg. I can only imagine how painful it's going to be though.
I've noticed there are still some dead spots in my leg. Areas where I can't feel much. My mobility is as good as could be hoped for, but for some reason there are just spots where it's numb. I can only think that maybe it's attributed to the fact that the nerves were damaged in the accident. Although I know for a fact that some of the nerves have reattached, since I feel the shooting pain from them. It's a strange feeling. I've had it happen quite a few times. For a few days, I'll have a very severe pain in an area, and then slowly the pain fades out, and the sensation returns to the area. My scar is still entirely numb, though.
For the last few days, I've been having intermittent shooting pains in my hip. I'm wondering if it's stitching up as well. I hope so. I hope I haven't jostled it in some way that's going to inhibit this process even more. They don't last long usually, but they're disturbing nonetheless. By "not lasting long", I mean an hour or two. Time feels skewed when there isn't much going on. I guess I'll find out on the 27th.
No comments:
Post a Comment