Start Each Day With A Grateful Heart

I'm trying to stay positive about things. It's so difficult when you go from feeling like you're on top to being right at the bottom. I was doing so well for myself. 21 years old with a college degree and a county job.. And now, I'm stuck. I can't do much of anything. What my doctor hasn't restricted, the pain takes care of. But all in all, I have to be thankful that I am here. I'm alive, when very easily, I could have not survived the accident. That's more of a slap in the face than anything as far as giving me a reality check. Yes, I'm in a horrible place now, but I will get better eventually. Seeing pictures and remembering details of the accident, I could have very easily died. I thank God that I am still here. A few very dear friends have told me that something good will come of this, and I'm going to try to keep that mentality. I woke up in a very depressed mood, but upon checking my messages, saw this:

"You're going to be something great. That's not just fluff. I'd bet my life on it."

I mulled over that for a few minutes, and it brought tears to my eyes. I have the greatest group of family and friends, and friends that seem more like family. If someone else has this much faith in me, why don't I? I need to adjust my attitude. Channel all of my negativity into doing something productive that can help people.

Anyone who knows me knows that while I may sometimes hate it, all in all, I loved my job. It kills me to think I may not ever be able to go back to it, but maybe I can find another way to help people.

On another note, last night was rough, but not as bad as the others. I slept in the recliner, but slept through my scheduled pain medication, so I woke up in agony. Agony may seem like a dramatic word, but "in pain", "miserable", "hurting", don't describe what I was feeling. Thank God Mimi was close by and able to give me my meds. It's been an hour since I woke up and the pain is still about a 7/10. Hopefully it'll get better throughout the day. At least, sleeping in the recliner, I didn't roll over on to my bad side or anything. But when I woke up and had to make it to the bathroom, I was whimpering with every step. My arms are building up muscle from using the walker, but I'm really feeling the break on the right side of my pelvis now. Not to mention the pain in my left hip was horrendous. It took me about 8 minutes to get to the bathroom which is right next to the living room.

Well, my friend is here. Time for some cheering up.

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