When Night Falls..

Finally got the pain under control this afternoon. Ashley came to visit and it was nice to just hang out and shoot the breeze. Until Satan showed up in the form of a tiny, pregnant Asian lady, a.k.a. my physical therapist. That was a pain heretofore unimaginable. It wasn't too bad at first, until she started the exercise where I have to slide my leg to the side. I was lying there with tears rolling down my cheeks, but kept in mind that this is what's going to help me walk again. She assigned me a few exercises to do daily and gave me a resistance band to help build my upper body strength as well. She said she took it easy on me today, since my pain level was already high. I shudder to think what it'll be like when she isn't "taking it easy".

Other than that, the day went fairly well. I had visits from some of my best friends, and it perked my mood up after the painful experience with therapy. It was nice to laugh a little. Mimi went to town during my visit and brought back some yarn, so I can at least crochet while I rot away on this couch. When I had a million things going on such as work and class, I always wished I had more time to read, but now that I have nothing but time, I'm finding it hard to focus. Just knowing that I cannot get up and do as I wish makes me want to get up even more. I'm attempting to channel it into motivation to recover as quickly as I can. I did begin to work on the blanket that I have planned, and even that has improved my mood a bit, because at least it will be something concrete that I can look at and say, "I did something." I'm worrying about how I'm going to manage things this holiday season, like Christmas shopping, without a paycheck.

So many things got put on hold because of this. I'd just bought a new vehicle two days before the accident, and was supposed to be moving in with my best friend in Summerville. Now I don't know how to manage everything. Luckily Tina says my room will be waiting for me, but I'm hoping that I can at least get a paycheck so that I can help with the bills and get down there ASAP.

Tonight has been the typical night... Making the trek from the couch to the bathroom, which seems to stretch away from me like in the movies when someone sees something and the distance just seems to magnify itself... Rather than being 20ft away, it seems as though it stretches out for miles. Each step with the walker sends a jolt to the broken pelvis, and shoots pain in to my left hip. I can't wait for a time where it won't hurt as badly. I see where everyone's talking about the colder weather, and I wish I could experience it, too. I haven't been outside since I was released from the hospital. I can't manage the steps with my walker, and there's absolutely no way I can do it without it. Mom said she may come pick me up Friday and take me to her house for the weekend. How pathetic has my life become when a field trip to my mother's house sounds super exciting? I just wonder how I would smoke there. I don't think I could manage going outside constantly with the walker. It's painful enough to take 4 or 5 trips in a day to the bathroom.

Speaking of which, tonight, I went to the bathroom and slipped. I ended up putting my left leg down and bearing my weight on it to catch myself. I felt something crack, and have been having severe pain in my left leg ever since. I'm hoping it'll go away soon, and that I didn't mess anything up.